2009/2010 System Referee - Tony Kehoe

Olivia Chase · 2009/2010 System Referee - Tony Kehoe

If you have any questions for Tony do put them here. Also Tony, if you wish to say a few words do say so below.

Yours, Debbie

Earthbinder

Why is orange jam called marmalade?

(answers in 200 or more words not using the words Portugal or Queen)

Jess Parker

Ooh Psych questions, I like it. We must establish that people are mad enough to be system refs after all Smile

Jacqueline

Well, we got to work out if they're crazy enough Very Happy

comedyofhate

Marmalade was invented by the french Merchant Monsieur Sent comme l'Orange as opposed to other foreigners who lied on the copyright patent form. The orginal meaning of Marmalade can be broken down into Mar, mal and ade. Which translates in ancient peruvian into "what the hell am I going to do with these oranges?" Hence Marmalade was created, thus sweetening peoples breakfasts, and being placed together with the more common condiment known as jam, which to be fair is tastier, and doesn't look like it has nose pickings in it.

Yet Marmalade does have a venerable tradititon, it is said that during world war I. Soldiers would use Marmalade to poison rats, and as part of the famous, General Kitchner in ladies underwear riot, was also used as a tangy form of lubricant.

During the forties marmalade became less popular what with people realising that pouring raw sewage on toast tasted marginally nicer, this was overturned by the act of parliment of 1942, that stipulated that the waste of raw sewage during a time of war, was an offence punishable by imprisonment in a ferret milking factory.

Later in the twentieth century it is said that a young groupie of the band Led Zepplin elected to have a licentious relationship with a red snapper rather than have to eat a jar of marmalade, on account that she wish to be able to kiss her grand mother with her mouth.

All in all this fine condiment has stood the test of time as one of the most foul tasting condiments to plague cheap guest houses, prison breakfast tables and homeless refuges for the past twenty years. Oddly the meaning of the word 'Taliban' means death to the eaters of orange shit.

I rest my case.

sm0keyb

comedyofhate

Ahh it is a common misconeption, that the taliban is made up of misguided hard line islamic extremists. It is of course a dastardly scheme by the honourable society for the "seeking" of a hersuit agenda in modern society.

This agenda according to their secret masters, is the total destruction of all companies and organisations associated with mens grooming equipment, which are considered taboo due to an argument which errupted in 1852 between Archibald Mc'foul and his wife Fanny Mc'Foul over the formers use of Archibalds male grooming kit, on her own Mc'Foul.

Thus was caused by an incident at Buckingham Palace , and the sudden emergence of a pubic hair as a fashion statement when worn on a mans collar.

Vote for Ross he is sexier in bed than me. Smile

sm0keyb

Jess Parker

Perhaps the whole marmalade and good in bed thing are linked...
*Brain wanders off somewhere bizarre and slightly scary*

comedyofhate

How can anyone doubt for even a second that a gentleman of such stature as Ross is not sexier in bed than me. I am merely a humble assault marine, compared to his terminator (very bizarre in joke).

The qualities of Ross.

He is clever
Rationale and keeps calm
He loves the game
He likes to ensure game balance
He also like myself is happy to take bribes

In addition Ross wouldn't let me go near him after the event 10 incident involving a jar of marmalade, a sock, and the players on base guns. Which to be fair I have just made up.

sm0keyb

Now, you see, your talking yourself into it. You've openly admitted that you'll take bribes, whereas we have only your insinuation that Ross will Laughing

I'm voting for you!

Dangermouse

It`s all reverse psychology - Anthony really wants the refs job.

That or he doesn`t want it but is now convincing us he does.